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A Few Mythologies

25 Dec

Scientology mythology: Seventy-five million years ago, an alien named Xenu brought billions of his people to Earth on a DC-8, put them next to a volcano, and killed them with hydrogen bombs.
Analysis: L. Ron Hubbard was batshit crazy.

Greek Mythology: Around 4000 years ago, an immortal, long-haired and bearded, God named Zeus used disguises to trick mortals into having sex with him, and had many famous mortal children. These children did various things that changed the course of history.
Analysis: Ancient Greeks were wacky.

Roman Mythology: Everything those wacky Greeks said? All true. But, the names of the various Gods have been changed, presumably to be easier to pronounce in Latin.
Analysis: Crazy stuff, but at least we got cool names for our planets.

Christian Mythology:  Around 2000 years ago, an all powerful, long-haired and bearded, God had a child with a mortal woman. The child was mortal and lived with his mom, but once he died, he went to live with his dad and became immortal. All will be right in the world, as long as we believe in him.
Analysis: That totally happened.

 
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