April 19, 2004

Welcome to the Internet

Welcome to the Internet. I know you're really excited to be here. Here are a few pointers from those of us that have been around a while:


  1. You know that funny-as-hell joke you just got in your email? We've all seen it already. No need to forward it.

  2. You know that warning you just got emailed to you? The one that is passing on information that is really very important and you must forward to everyone you know! ... don't. It's a hoax. I guarantee it. Oh, and on the one in a million chance it's not a hoax, we've all seen it already. Don't forward it.

  3. There is no rich Nigerian national that will give you money, simply for returning his email. There are, however, lots of people that will steal money from you if you give them your financial information.

  4. Microsoft, McDonalds, Disney, and Gap are not going to give you money for forwarding email. They have no special super-duper email tracking program. It's a fake. See #2.

  5. That "critical windows update" that just got emailed to you by Microsoft? It's a malicious worm. Microsoft doesn't email software out. I promise. Do not open it.

  6. That other file that was sent by a non-Microsoft person (cool screen saver, great picture of someone famous, etc)? That's also malicious. Don't open it.

  7. I mean it. Don't open files sent to you unless you're expecting them. If it's from someone you know, ask them about it before you open it.

  8. Go get yourself some good AntiVirus and Spyware Detection software. Yes, it costs money. Yes, it is worth every friggin' penny.

  9. Go get yourself a firewall for your cablemodem or DSL modem. Yes, it costs money. Yes, it is worth every penny


I'm basically trying to get two things across:

  • People who have been on the 'net a while have already had funny/disturbing emails sent to them 100,000 times. Don't be 100,001.

  • There are people out there that want to do your computer harm. A lot of them. Protect yourself by not executing their programs, and not making your machine available to them while you're online. Don't learn this the hard way.

Now that I've scared you, welcome to the Internet. Use your brain, don't trust you don't know personally, and you'll be fine.

[Kyle // 07:20 PM // permalink]